No Fear, I am Bigger than your Mistake: BRINGING UP SARA 1.6
circa 2015 - 2019
Some years ago, Pastor BC laid hands on me at the end of an encounter [with God] meeting and said I had a gift of prophecy. To the envy and surprise of all her disciples waiting to receive a word from the Lord, I reeled back and rejected it, saying, “No thanks. I don’t want it.”
The Fear of Being Wrong
Shortly after that, she visited me in my home. I explained my point of view.
In the Bible, prophets really lived a difficult and lonesome life. They did rather bizarre things like taking their clothes off in the marketplace or marrying a prostitute, because God told them to. They were also constantly crying or pleading or scolding people, asking them to repent of their sins, and face the wrath of kings and queens. If they do not, they may get eaten by a big fish! (Book Of Jonah in the bible).
None of the above I would like to do or experience. No, thank you.
I also related to Pastor BC an incident in my last Church where a visiting prophet from India openly prophesied that J, a member and a dear friend, who had gone into coma will awake and be well. She had unexpected complications at the birthing of her child, her third. The elders followed suit confidently with positive words from Scriptures about God’s ability and desire to heal the sick. We were all full of faith in God and elated at this prophecy.
But she did not make it. Both the baby and mother passed on a few days later.
When asked, the prophet chastised us for trying to “make God our servant”, in wanting to force God’s hands to heal J. He conveniently sidestepped what he had prophesied about her and her child while extolling his office of a prophet, which he preached that it is not the same as having the gift of prophecy!
Confused and bewildered, the circumstances that followed in Church would have provided just cause for me to leave the Christian faith, if not for my personal relationship with the Lord.
I told Pastor BC, I have seen zealous Christians in the Church trying very hard to prophesy. Some were rather suspect whilst others were earnest, with good intentions perhaps but the frenzied shouting and mayhem to try to get prayers heard or answered was very uncomfortable.
I had my doubts and concerns.
Most importantly, I could not trust myself to hear or see correctly. I did not wish to let people down if what I heard or said turned out to be wrong. I also thought it was rather stressful, as I didn't fancy being pressured into saying something just to comfort people desperately in need of a positive word from God. I do not want to give anyone false hope.
Pastor BC shared with me her own challenges and experience when she started prophesying in the Church, and encouraged me to trust God.
So, I took all my concerns and fears to the Lord.
And God says
This is what He said to me:
“No fear. I am bigger than your mistakes.”
He asked me, “When your son is learning how to walk and he falls down, do you get angry or disappointed with him? Do you stop him from walking altogether? Or do you let him pick himself up as you comfort and reassure him, cheering him on as you know that in time to come he will walk steadily?”
WHEN YOUR SON IS LEARNING HOW TO WALK AND HE FALLS DOWN, DO YOU GET ANGRY OR DISAPPOINTED WITH HIM?
Baby Steps
So I took baby steps.
I started off seeing black and white Polaroid pictures in my spirit, before seeing visions in full colour. I started with one word, then progressed to conversations with God.
Through the years, He proved himself faithful as I learned to hear His voice and to seek Him. When I was unsure, God sent mentors to guide me. My journey is not one without pains or trials. But through it all, I learn to trust God more and more.
The closer I drew to that still small Voice of God, the further I grew from Churchdom. Eventually, I was set free from the pressure of human expectations and the need for man’s approval or endorsement, and agenda.
It is amazing how quickly one can learn to recognise His voice in a clearer way as we go further and further away from the hype and busy pace of church life. My love for God grew deeper and deeper in this state of quietness and solitude.
He Even Makes the Wrongs Right
The Holy Spirit said to me:
“What is important is that your heart fears God more than man and you earnestly wait to hear Him speak to you. So even if you do hear wrongly, He is greater than your mistakes and He can even make the wrong things right.”
Yes my God could make even my mistakes turn out for good.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28, New Living Translation (NLT)
With that, I was set free from all my fears and concerns.
For my late friend, her husband and children, whom I have met on occasions divinely arranged by God, I can assuredly say, “All is well within our souls.”
Indeed, no fear. God is bigger than my mistakes.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
