The Drudgery of Life and a Humdrum Existence

Aug 30 , 2019

Perth

This morning in my quiet time, I thanked God for helping me to complete writing something he said to write for the website – to recall my early anti-God days, and years later, my encounters with Jesus ^[1]. I was surprised when my tears had flowed like a river as I wrote yesterday, crying so hard until I was worn out. He dug up the bullying I faced in my childhood which I have actually forgiven and long forgotten.

As I wrote about my first and second encounter with Jesus, my heart went back to the early years — how closely I had walked with Him and how long and far He had walked with me. And I realised that my walk with Him today is not as close as before.

I was sad and heartbroken, as I laid my sorry heart out before the Lord, wondering when and why we drifted apart…

The Drudgery of Life and a Humdrum Existence

The Lord gave me these two phrases:

“It’s the Drudgery of Life.

A Humdrum Existence.”

I checked the dictionary ^[2] for the meanings of these two words:

drudgery (noun):

dull, irksome, and fatiguing work, uninspiring or menial labor

i.e. the drudgery of his job

Synonyms:

donkeywork, drudge, fatigue, grind, labor, moil, slavery, sweat, toil, travail

humdrum (adjective):

monotonous, dull

Synonyms:

arid, boring, colorless, drab, dreary, drudging, dry, dull, dusty, flat, heavy, ho-hum, jading, jejune, leaden, mind-numbing, monochromatic, monotonous, numbing, old, pedestrian, ponderous, slow, stale, stodgy, stuffy, stupid, tame, tedious, tiresome, tiring, uninteresting, wearisome, weary, wearying

I was stunned. Every word struck a chord; alarm bells went off within me!

Donkeywork! What an ass I have been, working so hard.

Fatigued, grinding away day by day, old and jaded.

I recently told my husband I am getting old and tired, and I cannot take much more stress over his burdens and the kids much longer.

I have become numbed and bored with my own life, wondering where all that zest I once had in my life has gone to….

The Problem of Having Nothing that I Cannot Afford

“Stupid”, “irksome” and “uninteresting” would indeed describe how I feel about myself when ironically, a lot of people think I have the dream life.

It is true that God has blessed me and rewarded me for my obedience in managing our finances^[3] ; with nothing in life that I cannot afford. Not that I have an extremely expensive taste or lifestyle, but it is still better than some.

I went down on my knees. And begged the Lord never to let my life end like that. I missed those early years when I was so in need of him, so fascinated and excited about the things he taught me, totally resigned to his great love for me.